“How you gonna win, when you ain’t right within?”

from “Doo Wop (That Thing)” by Lauryn Hill

The universe is vast and it’s filled with an infinite quantity of entities. Galaxies, planets and stars, of course. But there are also animals, people and philosophies. It’s a privilege to be able to consider the sheer enormity of what is possible. And of all the things out there it is humbling to think that we have zero control over almost all of them. There are things that can be owned, managed, resolved or anticipated, but the fact is we are ultimately not in control of them. One of the few things that you can control? Your mindset.

We all experience adversity and challenges and those of us in midlife can appreciate that there is nothing that can grant immunity to hardship. Olympic medalists still get flat tires. Natural disasters can occur in paradise. We make bad decisions. We make mistakes

Our attitude when we encounter difficulty can make a huge difference. Whether we come up against a mere inconvenience like being stuck behind a slowpoke on the road to having to face a major setback like the loss of a dear friend, our attitude affects how we experience the future. It is important to acknowledge and process negative events, but then determine how we can learn from each of them and move on with the experience. Our attitudes can have a huge effect on how we cope with difficulty. Our collective attitudes make up our mindset.

The established set of attitudes held by someone.

Definition of mindset from The Oxford Dictionary

Dr. Carol Dweck, is a Stanford University researcher who found in studies conducted in elementary classrooms that whether students had a fixed mindset or a growth mindset made a huge difference.  Given an exercise that was impossible to solve some students reveled in the idea of the activity of problem solving, but others viewed their lack of progress and themselves negatively after the exercise was completed. Dweck found that by teaching students skills to maintain a growth mindset they were able to “transform the meaning of difficulty” and improve future performance. What is a growth mindset? In other words, by looking at the process positively–even though if it resulted in a failed outcome–students used the positive experience as an opportunity to grow.

You completely control your attitude. In the early part of our lives, we simply adopt the attitudes of our parents or communities. Our mindsets may feel like they are fixed. Adapting a growth mindset can be done at any age. In fact, after the age of 40 is a perfect time to examine our attitudes. What’s the harm in questioning our beliefs? How was our mindset formed?

Having a growth mindset is certainly important in the face of difficulty. But more importantly developing a growth mindset will help you when faced with life’s positive events as well. If you are presented with opportunities that may be a stretch, you can be realistic while also giving yourself permission to look at the stretch as an opportunity to see just what we’re capable of and make notes for improvement along the way. For example, what would you say if your supervisor asks you to perform a duty for the first time? Or what if a potential client that you respect says yes to your pitch? If you have a fixed mindset, you will be focusing on what you lack and may even decline. But with a growth mindset in place, you will have laid the foundation to not only give the opportunity your best shot, but to learn as much as you can as well.

You should know that it is completely in your power to pivot to a growth-oriented mindset. The universe is huge and there is room enough for your mindset to grow! Find meaning in loss. Ask how you can help others learn what loss taught you. Decide right now that you can get through tough times and be grateful. From now on think of tough times as your own rich learning environment full of opportunities for growth. Then show out!

Photo by Mateusz Dach from Stock Snap