Your 40s and the years that follow can be an exhilarating time. The gift that midlife offers you is the opportunity to get reacquainted with yourself. You finally have the hang of this adventure called life and are getting better and better at keeping your own swerve on even while facing change, uncertainty and working toward living life on your own terms.
As you decide exactly how you want the next act of your life to unfold, you should consider what tone you want to set. If you want to simplify, enjoy wellness and thrive, here are twelve ways to do exactly that.
1. Intend to be fabulous
What feels better than feeling comfortable in your own skin, confident and full of vibrancy? Set your intention to feel that way as often as possible.
2. Have a shoppable closet
It doesn’t matter how many or few pieces of clothing you own, just make sure you use every item as often as possible. From time-to-time, ask yourself if it’s worth holding on to items that make you feel great when you wear them.
3. Watch your body’s signals at least as often as you watch the clock
Hormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause can affect your body in many ways. Eat when you’re hungry. Sleep when you are tired. The rest of the time, find something else to do! If hormones have you awake at odd hours, don’t linger in bed, staring at the clock. Read, stretch, journal. Same with food. Don’t fall into the trap of eating simply because you’ve always eaten at a certain time. If you aren’t hungry you don’t have to eat.
4. Prioritize self-care every day
Addressing your own needs is important in order for you to be present and of service to others in a sustainable way. If you are constantly catching colds and feel exhausted, you need to take care of yourself! Making time for yourself every day to maintain or improve your health will help your mindset, your peace of mind and your overall outlook on life. Warm showers, meditation and real-time contact (not via direct messages or social media tags) with people you enjoy are a few of the infinite ways to care for yourself. Routines and personal rituals are a comforting touchstone. They help you check in with yourself.
5. Practice gratitude
Regularly acknowledging all that is good in your life and finding something to be grateful for will attune your focus to notice even more things to be grateful for. It’s a wonderful cycle! I won’t promise that it will make you rich or happy, but I challenge you to try it for a month and see if it makes a difference.
6. Move regularly and with intensity
There is no substitute for committing to regularly moving your body. 100% of the information you will come across with concur that you have to do some form of exercise to maintain your health. Even if you hated gym class and have avoided moving ever since, there will be some activity you will enjoy. Unless a doctor tells you not to exercise, you must move. No excuses!
7. Try new things at every chance
Just as self-care provides comfort, trying new things is an excellent way to continue to engage in life. Even new things don’t have to be white water rapids level intense. Once, at the supermarket a woman who looked to be older than me stopped me and asked about the produce I’d just put in my cart. It was an eggplant, and she asked how I planned to prepare it. She happened to be from Mexico and had never had it. We had a brief and pleasant discussion about it and as we wished each other a good day, she put one in her cart too. Resolve to try new things if you want to thrive.
8. Simplify your facial care regimen
It has been my experience that many of the women I know with the best skin do not use the spendiest or most number of products. Ask women you know with the most radiant skin which products they use and most often the answer is regular bath soap and petroleum jelly or other everyday products. Just saying. . .
9. Laugh often
There will be plenty of times when there is nothing to laugh about or even smile about. Maybe you prefer being stodgy, but when given a chance to laugh, you should take it. Listening to stand-up comedy, reminiscing with family and old friends will make you feel lighter.
10. Use your best dishes daily
Stop “saving” the good things in your life for special occasions. Your life is yours and you have to believe every day of it’s special. Treat yourself like company or a special guest. You deserve it!
11. Make sure all of your undergarments are good
This is an area where it’s easy to fall into a rut or neglect altogether. Just as you shouldn’t only be eating off of your good dishes, one, two, or only three times a year, instead of faded, stretched undergarments, you deserve to have bras that fit and are in good repair, and panties that make you feel ready to face each day, if not downright sexy! Good, wearable undergarments are available at all price ranges. A manager at my first job after college told me that twice a year she threw out all of her lingerie and socks, then bought all new. Though that’s a bit extreme to me, there is a kernel of value to such a practice. If you don’t want to spring for a complete replacement right now, be sure to make, then adhere to a one-in-one-out policy, where you discard one item for every item you replace.
12. Honestly evaluate your health and medical providers
Because your body literally has to last you the rest of your life, it’s important to take an honest look at your health and whether your providers are a good fit for you. Understanding your coverage, seeking health care at least as regularly as recommended, and being able to communicate with a provider about your risk factors are all too often only available to those with privilege. But persist, and don’t miss regular medical and dental appointments, because you’re worth it!
These were just twelve of the many, many things you can do to take care of yourself. Self-care is vital if you want to show up as your true and best self during this wonderful stage of your life.
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Photos from Samantha Hurley and Matthew Hurley on Burst,