Are you on the verge of being an empty nester? You may be trying to wrap your head around midlife, and it all happens so fast. You’ve been busy with the dizzying schedule of activities at the end of high school, culminating with graduation, as well as making preparations to send them out into the world. Multiple trips to big box retail stores to furnish dorm rooms are a predictable part of sending a kid off to college. No one can predict mishaps of the worst kind, but families should execute the paperwork that will be needed in the event of an emergency involving a young adult.
Though you may still actively tend to their needs and provide support for your teen daughter or son, the law sees the magic number 18 and regards your “children” as adults. At age 18 a titanium curtain of legally mandated privacy descends. Even if you still keep a roof over their head, furnish their transportation and pay to have them covered under your insurance policy, most organizations and institutions may be legally barred from discussing your newly-grown child’s financial, medical, legal and educational information with you.
You need to have a conversation with your offspring about the role they would like you to assume in their care if their ability to care for themselves is compromised.
If you have a child who will be leaving soon or recently left for college, the military, a service year or one who just wants to get their own home, there are essential documents they need to be sure that they execute in the event that disaster strikes. And if this is not something you were aware of, it’s not too late! Either way, you should check with an attorney or go through a vetted legal professional to be sure these documents are the correct legal instruments for your state. The documents you should have are: a Financial Durable Power of Attorney, an Advance Directive, a HIPPA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) release and FERPA (Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act) form.
The List of Forms
- A Financial Durable Power of Attorney allows parents to handle financial matters, discuss financial accounts, make transactions, discuss taxes, and leases for their children.
- An Advance Directive provides medical providers and family members information about what medical care your child would like to receive in the event they are unable to say so for themselves.
- A HIPAA Release lets you to communicate with your son’s or daughter’s medical provider.
- A FERPA Authorization gives permission to an educational institution to release information to parents, though may not be needed if you claim your child as an IRS dependent, but either way covers the bases.
While your role shifts from director of their lives to whatever form your relationship takes, the two of you may continue to negotiate the roles each of you play in each others’ lives. You may not agree with all of their choices, but approach this evolution in your relationship with love and respect. After all, if you are in midlife, your roles may very well be reversed eventually, requiring you to shift some decision making and authority to them. There’s no one way to be, though for now, these documents may equip you to provide for your children at a time they may need you most.
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